


Proceed to Fit

by vosien



Series: Meet you halfway in the East [1]
Category: South Park
Genre: Gen, Japan is too small for Craig, Some sexual humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 03:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13895667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vosien/pseuds/vosien
Summary: “I forced it on… and it broke.” Craig muttered under his breath, and right on queue, both Jimmy and Clyde idle expression cracked. The brunets turned to one another, a hand in the air to give each other a high fives and began a series of laughter. Even Token - whom was taken a back at first - shook his head, but possessed an earnest smile nevertheless.ORJapan is too small for Craig.





	Proceed to Fit

Craig Tucker is tall.

“Look over there.” Clyde pointed out to Jimmy, his thin lips morphed into a smirk before he continued to speak. “That's the third student taking awe to Craig’s height.”

In response, Jimmy simply shook his head, “That’s fifteen in total, n-n-not to mention just an hour ago he bu-bu-bump. Bumped his head this morning, when getting out of the tra-tra-train.”

“Dude, Craig and doorways, that shit never gets old..”

And indeed it didn’t.

It's a well is known fact that Craig Tucker is one of the tallest person known in town - not just among his family and friends - but everyone who lives in South Park is well aware of the blue clad giant. Craig had long suppressed his father’s height upon his sixteenth birthday. People would talk and jest about, more notably by yours truly; Eric Cartman, and to some extend the rest of the boys. While Bebe’s favourite gesture upon the ever growing noirette is to play compare and look; as she would placed one hand on top of her head, the other on Craig’s and present the differences.

The results is a good half a feet. 

At the very least South Park is kind, or Craig would like to believe that the western world had taller door framer, higher ceilings, bigger cars, or larger clothes in general. The east however - more so Japan in particular - was a lot smaller in general. Shoes didn’t fit, he felt claustrophobic whenever he entered their airbnb apartment, and lets not talk about the sudden surge of bowing when ducking posters, entering trains or doorways in general. People, especially the younger generation would stare back at Craig with awe, only to send them into a fit of giggles and their face now flushed several shade darker, when the taller male sent the bird back at them.

Of course, while Craig stood at an awkward height of 6’3, it wasn’t to say the others fared any better. Token for example was the second tallest guy within the group, standing at 6’1”, while the Clyde (many thanks to his Dutch genes) and Jimmy were not far behind. In fact some believed if their handicapped friend straighten up, he could probably stand neck to neck with Token. Leaving little Tweek being the shortest within the merry band of misfits. Even so, Tweek stood taller than most men in Japan.

Wendy did warn the boys - beside their obvious foreign appearances - their height alone would be considered an attraction itself.

 _“You’ll be ducking a lot, walking a lot more, and Craig, please do not flip the people off.”_ Wendy once informed the merry band of misfits. 

And boy, did the group ducked an awful lot, walked more - much to Clyde’s and Token’s dismay, when they discovered Japan had less escalators than back in America - but Craig’s middle finger never stayed put in his pockets. Then like karma, Craig would find himself rubbing his forehead, groused in pain when he failed to calculate the amount of depth one needed,  when bend his knees upon entering the udon restaurant that evening.

Did it also help when the roof itself didn’t go any higher than the average basketball player?

Nope.

Or the table itself did not allow much leg room?

Also nope.

Dinner was great, nevertheless, especially when Token gave the chef his compliments. That is when you know you just had fine dining.

 

* * *

 

“Alright boy, please place your bets.” Clyde would began the morning with a bet. There was no money involved, but it the satisfaction alone that brought others to re-submit their bets once again.

“One.” Token, per usual would start off the suppose bet. A coffee in hand, but his sights lingers on his mobile phone, no doubt on social media, or talking to his fiancee; Nichole.

“Make it a three for me.” Jimmy noted, and the fellow brunet felt his grin widen.

“Damn, you two have more faith for Craig.” Clyde jested about, but pose no ill meaning toward the noirette, who took a stab at his traditional Japanese breakfast (in which consist of rice, grilled salmon and miso soup) and scooped the content into his mouth. “I'm going with four... yeah at least four. You all saw what happen yesterday.”

“ _Nrgh_. It doesn't help that Craig wasn’t looking where he was going, _ugh_ , either.” Tweek injected, before he took a sip out of his cup of green tea. “Oh, and a seven for me.”

Token rose an eyebrow, while Clyde sent into a fit of laughter, a hand lapped over his stocky abdomen. “Hah hah! Leave it to the boyfriend to have, haha - less faith than anyone on this table!”

Even Craig took pause and gave his boyfriend a stare.

“I’m not that bad.”

This time it was Tweek's turn to raise an eyebrow, before he settled down his mug. “Excuse you. _Urgh!_ May I remind you that you’ve bumped your head when you left the house yesterday morning, entered the train, and almost - _nrgh_ \- collided with a complete stranger because, and I quote, ' _out of your vision_ '.”

“Well it’s not my fault I can’t see short people.” Craig groaned, and Clyde - like a little piece of shit he was - laughed even harder.

It’s bad enough when everyone in South Park referred Craig as the town’s giant. However to be fairly honest, his father did groomed the younger Tucker to take over the title some day, and once that said mantle was passed onto him, Craig took on the role quiet naturally. That, and his nonchalant attitude enables him to carry on without fuse. Beside once the town placed claims on his sexuality when you're ten, other titles in which was to betrothed the noirette eventually, became second nature.

However, Japan has been a struggle, and oddly enough it wasn’t because it was Japan.

Yes, the rising sun country has its moment, but Craig’s series of head butting and awkward manners alone, is enough to suppress the country itself.

“At least Craig ha-ha-hasn’t gone to the hospital… yet.” Jimmy unhelpfully added. “The last thing we need is Craig rack-rack-rack. Racking up in debt, j-j-j-just because he refused to get travel in--”

Craig immediately clamped Jimmy’s lip shut, as callous hands muffled the following sentences. However both Token and Tweek were fairly smart people. In silence haste, they pieced the final words together, and simultaneously manner, frowned. One due to his motherly nature, while the other's face morphed from confusion to sheer anger then proceeded to slam both hands onto the table, and take a stand. “You didn’t get travel - _NRGH_ \- insurances!? And you’ve been i-injuring yourself the very moment we’ve stepped off the - _GAH!_ \- fucken plane!”

Craig felt the ends of the hair stand straight. Yes, an angry Tweek is a hot Tweek. However not when he’s being lectured for his supposedly wrong doing. Although if Jimmy is right about one thing; he hasn’t gone to the hospital… yet.

However, he couldn’t argue back, as it would open up a can of worm in his place, and knowing Clyde he’s probably filming all of this much to everyone’s dismay.

So Craig simply does what he does best when faced with a flushed blond haired, namely Tweek.

Hide.

Hide under that blue chullo hat of his and groan for the umpteenth time today.

 

* * *

 

There was a reason why the gang came to Japan in the first place. As Clyde, took a stand, and with a drink on hand, managed to gather everyone's attention in his circle.

"I would like to start off, that Craig you suck." Upon that said statement, the noirette simply rolled his eyes, while the rest chuckled or grinned at the very least. "But the obvious aside, it's been... well a long journey guys. To be honest, I didn't think we'll make it this far, but holy fuck, here we are in Japan because our best mate Token is getting married next week." 

Token felt his face bloomed, very rarely was in the spotlight for a positive reason.

Clyde continued, "But seriously dude, you fucken earn it. Nichole is a lovely lady, you're a good man, and fuck, we're in Japan, so all the best man. A toast to you, your future wife, and all the best for the future." 

Everyone else proceed to raise their glass, Token followed suit, and for a moment allow himself to break character and grin. "Thanks guys... seriously." 

However Clyde wasn't finish yet. "Oh and if the trip still sucks, don't worry buddy, I've complied every moment that Craig stacked it." 

Craig sent a jabbed toward the brunet's way. 

 

* * *

 

"Okay... can someone care to explain what happened last night?" Token questioned, taking paused from his social media outlook, as he allowed slender fingers to adjust the frames of his glasses. 

“I forced it on… and it broke.” Craig muttered under his breath, and right on queue, both Jimmy and Clyde idle expression cracked. The brunets turned to one another, a hand in the air to give each other a high fives and began a series of laughter. Even Token - whom was taken a back at first - shook his head, but possessed an earnest smile nevertheless.

Tweek, however, wasn’t faring any better, as he placed his head in the palm of his hands.

“I FUCKEN TOLD YOU, BUT NO - YOU INSISTED THE CONDOMS HAD TO FIT!” The brunet gasped, his hand slamming on the table.

Craig simply rolled his eyes and sighed. At least the boys is now knowledgeable that Craig’s penis is unable to handle Japanese made condoms. 

That, or they haven't found a bigger size. Yet.

Token simply gave his friend a pat on the back. "Look on the bright side. We'll be back in America in within twenty four hours, and then you and uh Tweek can do all the lewd stuff... but not at my place, please." 

At that very moment, Craig straighten his back and his eyes widen, as if giving pause. Even Tweek felt his body grow stiff for a fleeting moment, but unlike Craig was able to recover like second nature. Slender fingers continued to scroll through Twitter, pretending to dismiss partaking the conversation at hand. Although, deep down the blond haired knew the moment the statement fell through, they were fucked either way. Craig's hawk like eyes darted to the left, in attempt to fringe normality, however the dark skinned male saw right through, and felt his brows dug further down. His father is a lawyer for fuck sakes, he's been trained to spot those who held the truth, friend or not.

_**"W h e n ?"** _

And just like that, Craig couldn't breath for a second as silences took it's place. Even Jimmy and Clyde's commotion came to a grinding halt as they awaited his answer. 

"So y'know Nichole and you had an engagement party-"

"Oh for fuck sakes! Really!?" 

"Craig was needy too." As usual, Tweek had to insert more information than needed. 

"Did you top?" Clyde asked the twitchy blond haired, in which Tweek nodded back.

"N-N-No wonder Token's bedroom smelt a bit funny." Jimmy noted, concern painted his features, and Token turned his attention back to Craig. 

_"You did not..."_

"I can... _explain_?" 

But Token was too far gone, as his golden eyes darken.

Jimmy pounded. "So-So-So, about that tra-trav-travel insurances thing?" 

Tweek ran his hand through his blond lock, as he felt a headache beginning to form.

 

* * *

 

"How was Japan?" Tricia asked. Well aware Craig's head looks jacked up, and there was bruises on his left shoulder. 

"Great." 

She then proceeded to walk over and poked the discoloured marks on his shoulders. _Hard_.


End file.
